“He entered my room and said: ‘Poor creature, you who understand nothing, who know nothing. Come with me and I will teach you things which you do not suspect.’ I followed him.” - Excerpt from The Notebook Of Simone Weil
Simone Weil garnered the name of Christian Mystic somewhat clumsily. Now that I think about it, that seems most appropriate. She was foremost a French philosopher and social critic. She rejected her Jewish upbringing and developed a fascination with Catholicism. She spent Easter of 1938 in a Benedictine monastery where she poured herself into the chants and liturgies of their community. She later developed close friendships with Catholics like philosopher Gustave Thibon and Dominican priest Fr. Perrin. While stories of her mystical encounters with the presence of Christ fill her notebooks, Weil never received baptism.
Weil escaped the Nazi occupation of France and fled to America. Feeling guilty about abandoning her people, she went to London to work for the French government. It was here that she went on what some believe to be a hunger strike – though this is debated by many. As a result she contracted pneumonia and died.
The publication of Weil’s writings, and its impact on religion and philosophy occurred posthumously.
The excerpt at the beginning of this post is indicative of Weil’s journey. It also reveals something of our own journeys as well. She writes later in this section that, “Sometimes I cannot help trying, fearfully and remorsefully, to repeat to myself a part of what he said to me. How am I to know if I remember it rightly? He is not there to tell me.”
Weil is also starkly honest about her doubts saying, ” I know well that he does not love me. How could he love me? And yet deep down within me something, a particle of myself, cannot help thinking, with fear and trembling, that perhaps, in spite of it all, he loves me.”
During this time of Lent, it is good to be reflectively honest about our journey with Christ. We are often following Christ into the unknown and unexpected. There are points along the way where we will forget why we came along, or if its worth it. We will even lose sight of Christ and face feelings of abandonment from time to time. If we patiently remember Jesus’ own journey to the cross we will recall that he too faced these same feelings. Even thought he set his face toward Jerusalem, he wept tears of blood in the garden, and cried out in forsakenness on the cross.
Know that Christ is present with you each day. In your waking and in your sleeping; in your going and coming; in the face of friends and in the mouths of strangers. Christ is with you in your following, forgetting, doubting, remembering, and hoping.
Tags: Lent, reflection, Simone Weil
